This episode delves into crucial social and career skills that teens and young adults must navigate in our highly digitalized world. Kirt Manecke’s insights offer invaluable advice on developing these vital competencies.

Guest: Kirt Manecke, Award-Winning Author of “Smile & Succeed for Teens: Must-Know People Skills for Today’s Wired World”
Host: Dana Jonson
Discussion Highlights:

Fundamentals of Social Skills: Kirt discusses the core social skills every teen should master, emphasizing the power of smiling, proper greetings, and the importance of face-to-face communication, even in a digital world.

Career Preparedness for Teens: The conversation turns to how teens can apply these social skills to secure and excel in their first jobs, highlighting interviewing techniques, customer service essentials, and the significance of first impressions.

Volunteering as a Skills Laboratory: Kirt advocates for volunteering as a practical way for teens to practice and enhance their social skills in a real-world setting, fostering both personal growth and community contribution.
Adapting to Digital Communication: The nuances of applying traditional social skills in digital platforms and how teens can maintain genuine connections online are explored.

Memorable Quotes:

“Mastering social skills is your ticket to personal and professional success.” – Kirt Manecke on the importance of interpersonal skills.
“A smile is the universal language of kindness and confidence.” – Kirt on the simplest yet most powerful social skill.
“Every interaction is an opportunity to practice and polish your people skills.” – Kirt on the importance of everyday engagements.
Call to Action:

If you want to know more about Kirt Manecke, visit his website (www.SmiletheBook.com), where he has more information on his books, online courses, and free resources designed to help teens thrive in social and professional settings.

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TRANSCRIPT (not proofread)

SUMMARY KEYWORDS
great, skills, book, social skills, good, young adults, volunteering, parents, smile, teenagers, teens, put, children, feel, teaching, eye contact, customer, chapter, kurt, talking
SPEAKERS
Dana Jonson, Kirt Manecke (podcast guest)

Dana Jonson 00:09
Welcome back to Special Ed on special ed. I’m your host, Dana Jonson and I am here with Kurt McInerney. And this is a great episode for parents because we’re gonna talk about some basic social skills. And a book that Kurt wrote that is really accessible for parents and kids of any typically developing kids, children with social skills, deficits, everything in between. And we’re gonna talk about why this book is so special and what you can get out of it. But of course, I can’t say anything without my disclaimer. So let’s play that first. information in this podcast is provided for general informational and entertainment purposes only, and may not reflect the current law in your jurisdiction at the time you’re listening. Nothing in this episode creates an attorney client relationship, nor is it legal advice. Do not act or refrain from acting on the basis of any information included in or accessible through this episode, without seeking appropriate legal or other professional advice on particular facts and circumstances at issue from a lawyer or service provider licensed in your state country or other appropriate licensing jurisdiction. Hi, Kurt, thank you so much for being here with me. I am so glad we were able to do this.

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 01:07
I Bina Thank you for having me I am to ask,

Dana Jonson 01:09
I want to give a little bit of an introduction for you. Kurt is the author of the award winning social and career skills crash course book. It’s also an ebook. It’s also an audio book, and there’s online courses, and it’s called Smile and succeed. fourteens must know people skills for today’s wired world, popular for transition and endorsed by Temple Grandin. His books include the parent’s guide for smile and success for teens teaching guide for smile and success for teens and the award winning book, smile, sell more with amazing service. And we’re gonna talk about all of those Kurt. I really just wanted to start with I know your first book was the sell more with amazing service, right? Yes, exactly. Yes. Oh, if you could just tell me like, what how did you get here? How do you go from sell more to I’m going to help teens with social?

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 01:58
That’s, that’s a great question, Dana. Well, what happened? You know, right out of college, I had a startup specialty retail store. And we had a competitor across the street, a competitor down the street. It was like back when windsurfing was popular in line skating rollerblades ever we have snowboard skateboards, but it was a business. I mean, we had to make a profit. So I had 25 Teenagers working for me, and I created a six week training program. And this we’ll get into why I wrote these books for the teens to give them confidence. But also, I couldn’t afford to lose a customer. I couldn’t afford to have you walk in and ask about a different rollerblade bearing and have them say I don’t know. They were trained to greet and say please, and thank you and I hired nice jeans. Anyways, we had a great group of teens. But fast forward, I don’t know, probably 10 years, I realized businesses weren’t obviously some businesses weren’t training employees. So I wrote I thought if I could write a quick, easy to read Crash Course, just covering the things that usually irritate people such as what we talked about how to answer the phone properly. So I did that. And then I had all these moms and teachers and this will answer your question, how are you telling me you have to get this book in the schools, it’s all this people skip all the people skills, kids aren’t learning. So I got an ended DACA. But it’s a business book. So that’s what I wrote, smile and succeed for teens. And I’ve spent nine months meeting with teenagers. But it was funny, Dana, because I would see the names on my website of people buying my book. And on Google, I was curious to what kind of teacher are they there are always like a special education or autism teacher. And I was thinking, I wonder why they’re buying this because I wrote it for all teens. But that’s who was buying. And they finally told me Well, it’s short. It’s frankly, the things that young adults need to know, too, because the unemployment rate is so high. And they said it’s got a lot of graphics for visual learners. And for short attention spans, it was good. So that’s how I got into this. And really, I remember as a teenager being very nervous when I was in middle school. I never knew what to say, I wish I would have had something like this to guide me.

Dana Jonson 04:01
Yeah, I mean, that is what it is. It’s sort of a guidebook, as we were discussing before we got on air several years ago, I was I had my children, a homeschooling Co Op. And I discovered that they didn’t know how to answer the phone, unless it was one of their friends calling like they didn’t know, they would just click the button and put it up to their head. And I thought, well, you have to say hello, or Yeah. Or if you call someone and it’s not your friend who answers you have to explain who you are. And talking to other parents, we started to realize that there was, you know, as you said, in this wired world where they are so reliant on all this tech, and I hear some people say, Well, do you really you know, that’s the way the world is going? Yes, but I think underneath it all you do have to understand what those soft skills are because at some point, those soft skills also have to come across in your tech in some way. So if you don’t know how to answer the phone from a stranger, or you don’t know how to call someone and get someone you don’t know On the other end of the line, that’s be a huge barrier for you at some point. So we tried to put together a soft skills group, and I’m a former Special Ed teacher. So we got some books on soft skills and activities for kids. And it was, you know, I found myself one day with this group of kids, they’re a great group of kids, they were really great. And they were really happy to be there. And they thought it was fun. But they were building a tower with like, sheets of paper or something. And one of them turned to me and said, Why are you doing this? And I thought, I have no idea. No, and I take into that. So it’s a book. And I was like, I really don’t know what we’re getting out of this activity. But that’s why I was so drawn to your book, because as you said, it’s brief, but it’s not lacking, you know, it’s giving you exactly the point you need to know. And then, you know, you can dig a little deeper if you want to. And as you said, in your parent teacher copies, which I suspect came after the book, when you realize that everyone needed a little guidance on how to implement this, that, you know, it started to evolve. Talk to me a little bit about what’s inside this book, this magic book of brief.

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 06:08
Well, I love how you even wrote that down, brief, but not laughing. I used to work for a New York Times best selling children’s book author, and he had a teaching guide. So luckily, I knew before I wrote my book, to put a teaching guide together, and I had two teachers get started on it. And they spent a year and a half, but we kept it really thin, easy to implement. So there’s no prep time for an instructor. But inside my book, exactly what you mentioned how to answer the phone properly. And you know, I tried to make the book, like I told you before the show with my editor, so there were no wasted words, or no big words that people might not be able to understand. So it’s Lexile measured at a fourth grade reading level, which simply means that for the brain, as you know, it doesn’t, the brain doesn’t have to work as hard to comprehend the information and doesn’t mean it’s only for fourth graders. Right? So in the book is, for instance, how to answer the phone properly when you answer the phone. And these are right, just so you know, this book is based on my first book, smile, sell more with amazing customer service, because that was the book that I that came from my six week training program that I’ve developed when I had a startup specialty retail store. And I had 25 teams working for me. So for answering the phone, for instance, that teaches them why it’s important in one paragraph to answer the phone and leave a great first impression. But then it says here’s how, and if the example would be, you know, good morning, this is Surf’s up, this is Sarah, how may I help you something like that. And in the book, it teaches you how to do that. So it’s quick and easy. They read a little paragraph of why. And then they learn how to do it. And then with the parents Guide or the teaching guide, I have role playing activities. So one student can be the person answering the phone in the store, and the other student can be the customer calling and vice versa, or the parent. And the team, you know depends on the relationship the parent has with their teenager, sometimes the teen would like to work work with their parents, sometimes they don’t want to have

Dana Jonson 08:08
not really successful.

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 08:11
Exactly. And you know, a lot of the other content, it’s really about social skills, but it’s it’s social skills are really good customer service skills. So a lot of it is greeting a customer properly. I mean, how many of us have walked into a business and been ignored. So creating that first great first impression. And the book is really about creating great first impressions, body language, not slouching, standing upright, you know, engaging that customer or that person how to make a friend how to make a friend at work, how to engage a customer like hi, how are you thank you for coming in. I like your sweater, things like that. So a lot of the things in the book are how to interview and get a job, for instance, how to properly dress and what to say during an interview and role playing mock interview questions such as why do you want to work here and teaching the young adults to research the company first. Or if you go in and ask for a job application, you’re dressed professionally, because that person might be the owner of the company when you ask for a right or an application and how to ask politely for that. And as an employer, when I would have young adults come in my store if they were dressed professionally. And if they and I know with autism, it’s tricky. But if they had some type of good eye contact, but more importantly, a positive attitude. They were polite with good manners. And they asked, Could I please have a job application? And I could just feel that they had good communication skills. Even if I didn’t have a job for them. I would say do you have a minute just to interview right now? I would find a job for that person because as a business owner, as you know, I’m always thinking, can this person do a great job with my customer? I can’t afford to lose a single one. Right.

Dana Jonson 09:48
Right. Well, that’s great. And I think you know, when you said with autism, it’s a little tricky because you know, especially when you’re talking specifically about eye contact, maybe just your any child that has As you know, different components, I think what’s really important is understanding the whole picture. As you said, it’s not just about smiling, it’s not just about eye contact, it’s also about your energy. And if you are making yourself smile, that is changing your energy. And that’s now that we’ve learned so much about our plasticity in our brain and how we can sort of trick ourselves into being in a better mood sometimes, that idea that if you’re putting together the whole picture, and fake it till you make it kind of brings that energy with you, I broke down with the chapters where I kind of wanted to go through them, I see that you broke it down into like, seven chapters, right? Yes. And I just want to read them all at one point for right now, because they think it’s an interesting progression. It’s, too Okay, so Chapter One is the top 10 people skills. So like the basics, right? Yes. Chapter Two, get that job. Chapter Three, keep them smiling. Chapter Four, treat people how you want to be treated. Chapter Five, sell more with great people skills, I just lost my track out chapter six, to her smiling after the sale. And chapter seven be a rock star. So there’s an it seems like there’s a natural progression there. And what I also found in reading it is some of it is very job specific. And I don’t want to turn people off to this book, if they’re thinking this isn’t a child who’s going to be working are interviewing for a job. Because I think all of the skills within those pieces, for example, keeping them smiling after after the sale, and I think there’s something about returns to someone’s returning things. I think it’s a great example of if there’s some friction in the conversation or things aren’t going exactly the way you anticipated. Right? Exactly. Why did you break it down into these components? Like how, what’s that progress that you see in the book? And in the process?

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 11:58
Great question. Well, the reason I did that, I put the top 10 in both of my books, because I thought in today’s society, we live in such a drive through quick society, if they only get and I put smile on and say hello, first and both of my books because I thought if they only get that out of it, they’re way ahead of the pack. As far as these things sound, Tom Peters wrote a great book when I was in college called In Search of Excellence. And he talks about business saying, the little things are the big things. And that’s true in relationships with people, you know, if you have a friend or if you’re meeting somebody in the smile, say, Hi, it’s huge. versus, you know, you want to get invited to somebody’s house party, or there may be dinner party and you walk in and how would you feel if nobody said anything to you. And that happens quite a bit in business. So I agree with you. And I broke it down this way, because I put smile first. But then I put the top 10 thinking if that’s if that’s all the young adult reads is the top 10. Like I said before, they’ll be way ahead of the pack, because and I’ll show you a couple of these examples. Smile, make good eye contact. One thing I wanted to talk about the eye contact, which is a good tip for your listeners is I put a little Bullseye under good might make good eye contact. And I said look at someone’s nose when you’re talking to them. You know, if you’re not comfortable with the eye contact, you can look at their chin, you could look at their shoulder, something like that. And the other ones that I put in here, which are why I did it in this order, turn off the electronics, you know, a lot of young adults, I bet they haven’t been really guided in when it’s appropriate to have your electronics out. And when it’s not. So it’s just a good reminder. Interview like a pro keep Oh, I’m sorry, I’m on the I’m on the rock section Shake. Shake hands firmly. Because that’s another important lesson whether you’re making friends or if you’re interviewing for a job, pay attention, which is listening, be enthusiastic, ask questions and and body language. So I put those in there because I thought if that’s all they do, they will create a great first impression, whether it’s friendships, relationships, or at a job. And the rest of them. I put the interviewing next for chapter two, because how to prepare for that interview was important when I

Dana Jonson 14:08
liked that part about preparation. You know, this isn’t about showing up and having the skills there’s

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 14:16
there’s prep work. Yeah. And then chapter three, it’s really like apologize and mean it call people by name, dress for success. Be prepared. Learn your business, if you’re working somewhere, learn the products, chances are the employers and I train my employees on everything but competitors products, our products, most employers, they kind of just throw you on the floor. But luckily, you can read the hangtags you can read the descriptions and the boxes, you can learn about the products that way. So really that’s about being successful in relationships and at work. And then chapter four is treat people how you want to be treated. And that’s a lot of about when you’re already working, how to approach a customer. For instance, how How many of us have walked in a business? And maybe there’s an employee with a customer already? Well, how do you feel? If somebody doesn’t, if they just ignore you until they’re done with that customer? I teach them to say, Hi, how are you, thank you for coming in, I’ll be with you in a minute, or I’ll get somebody else to help you.

Dana Jonson 15:16
Well, and I like that, because that’s about like acknowledging other people. That would be if somebody walked up to a conversation you were having, and you know, you’re you’re in a social situation, and someone’s sort of standing off to the side that that skill, right there would be about including the other person making them not feel on the outside of that conversation. You recognize them, they’re part of it, you know what I’m saying? Yes,

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 15:38
and all of these exactly, are social skills. So they pertain to relationships, like you said, or the workplace, because great customer service skills are simply great social skills. And then chapter five, it’s really about sales and customer service. Chapter Six is really, if you get a maybe a complaining customer, chapter seven, beer Rockstar is all about volunteering. So a lot of these young adults, you know, it’s great practice for them with social skills to be volunteering. So it teaches them some of the skills they need. And also some of the fundraising skills, how to overcome the fear of asking for the donation. For example, I teach them once they’re talking with somebody if they ask for the donation, would you like to donate? Don’t keep talking, just be quiet. It could be a minute or two, but you just be quiet. because there’ll be silent when

Dana Jonson 16:28
to be silent is the most important thing, right? Sometimes that fives can be really loud, no,

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 16:34
you’re right. It’s so important that so many people will ask for the donation, they’ll ask, Would you like to donate because you know, it’s a really good cause. And we’ve we’re doing great things, and we got great people, and we’re helping a lot of dogs. By the time they say that person’s mind, you know, it’s going somewhere else to the grocery list or something. But

Dana Jonson 16:53
I think part of that, too, is at least for my children, I have a lot of them. They don’t like violence, you know, they’re not used to that they’re used to constant being, you know, sort of attacked almost by sounds and light and things always happening on their, on their devices. And I think the idea of having just a pause is almost a little frightening sometimes. So they feel they have to fill the air. And if they’re speaking with an adult, and the adult isn’t responding immediately or exactly the way that they think they should they feel they need to do something different. So I think learning that pause is actually a really, really important skill. And it also gives somebody else an opportunity to speak. Because I know we have that problem in my house sometimes, too. There’s no one’s giving anyone air time, though. Yeah. Have the Okay, give the pause. Give us a second, someone else might have a comment tonight.

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 17:49
Great point. I love that you said that about the pause? Because I didn’t think about that, you know, kids these days are so used to constant bombardment of this information. And that pause is so powerful. Yeah, yeah, that’s kind of you know, that’s a good overview of what’s in the book fundraising skills, volunteering, relationship skills, how to make a friend how to go up to somebody, and introduce yourself. I mean, how many kids know how to do that, I think that’s so important. And you know, one reason I put volunteering in there is, you know, we’ve got so many causes in the world that are so important, but most this is not a knock on anybody. Most people that serve on boards, the adults are terrified to ask for money, just notice. So if we get the teens comfortable with that, and they get older and serve on boards, and 20 years, they will love to ask for money, realize that people feel good when they donate, and they’ll be able to raise a lot of money for these causes, and maybe solve some of them, which would be wonderful.

Dana Jonson 18:43
That would be amazing. I know, we’re putting a lot on the next generation, I have to, you know, but you know, and that is a good point, I always say I’m just trying to raise, you know, independent, contributing members of society, like, if they, they can be contributing members of society, I will be very, very happy and, and that is part of it. Being a part of your community. It’s not just about getting paid it is about volunteering and getting engaged with with things that are meaningful to you. And I think it is easy for the younger generation. It’s a little different with us. And we’ve had this tech for a really long time, but it wasn’t it all augmented our communication, it wasn’t our communication. And I see that with my children and other children that this is their communication. It’s not augmenting their communication, but you still have to work with people and engage with people who are in different generations. I don’t think there’s ever going to be a time where there’s just one generation in the workforce, one generation doing something. So you know, and at some, on some level, we’re all going to be interacting and to have that guide work behind you to understand like, okay, if I’m talking to To like, for example, I’ll say my kids will say, My friends don’t care about that. No, but I bet their parents do. Yes. And if you’re in their house, and you’ve got your feet on the coffee table, and you’re not saying please, and thank you, you’re not gonna go back, you know. So it doesn’t matter if your friend is is interested in that read the room. And I think there’s some of that in here too, about, you know, read the room and understand all of the situation, not just that one piece. But as we’ve said, like Madden big chunks, like it’s, it’s these individual pieces that when you put them all together, make perfect sense for helping any child understand these social skills and the soft skills that we really, really need. Now, I know you also do courses on this. So how did how did that evolve? And what do those look like? Well, I’ve

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 20:52
got you know, during the pandemic, we came up with an online course. And it’s the same exact content as the book, but it’s online is ADA compliant, also incompatible with the free Google rewrite. But it’s, we were able to add interactive questions and answers to it. Because it’s online, some curated videos, I tried to make it really affordable for parents 2499 for the whole year, it only takes an hour to complete the course. But if your young adult wants to go back and refresh something, or maybe they get a job and need to go back and do it, the pricing is really goofed up because teachers think I think I pressed her way too low. Like it shouldn’t be, shouldn’t be $25 a month? Well, I mean, what am I doing, make it that?

Dana Jonson 21:32
I hear you, it’s really

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 21:34
confusing. But you know, I just tried to make the content digestible for however, the young adult wants to read it or listen to it, or do it online, whatever they’re comfortable with. And I wanted to just make a quick point, you had mentioned, some of the younger people might not think these skills are important. Well, I’ll tell you, when you’re working somewhere, and you have customers, and us as a customer, we feel like these skills are important. So these are really evergreen skills, they’ll never go out of style, good manners will never be outdated. I think maybe with their friends, they can get away with doing some of these kinds of things. But like you said, with the parents, when they get in the world of work, or making relationships with other people, you know, you want to you want to have friends that are nice, and I think this teaches them how to do that. Yeah,

Dana Jonson 22:18
and I remember and then internship I did once ages ago, I was told right off the bat, if you’re a man, this is this is how old I am. Email is fairly new in the work world. And I was told, you know, treat it like a letter, there should be a greeting, there should be an ending, and please, no tech speak ever. And you know, in that moment, I was like, Well, okay, like, you know, of course, but whatever. And now I see I receive things from students or kids who want to do an internship with me or something along those lines. And none of that is in there. And, and I think what’s No, I’m not like you, I can’t respond to tech speak. And I have actually responded to a few kids and said, You know, I, if I do or don’t have anything available, but I would like to let you know, my first impression on this. And I hope that this is something you’ll take with you. And I don’t know, maybe they’re offended, maybe they’re not, I don’t get a lot of feedback on that. But I do think that it’s never the wrong thing to have the right manners. You know, even if you don’t think the person around you, or the person with you cares, it’s not going to hurt you to have the right response or to know the appropriate way to do something. There’s a great line in I don’t know if you know that movie blast from the past, I’m going to, oh, it’s great. It’s Christopher Watkins in it, but they end up in the 1950s in a bomb shelter, and they don’t come out until like the 90s or something. And so the the adult son now has these, you know, manners, like, like 1950s manners. And he says to somebody’s like, well, they say, Oh, you think you’re so important. He’s like, No, having good manners shows respect for the people around you. And I love the way that was phrased, this isn’t about me thinking I’m better than this is about me showing respect for you. And I think ultimately for yourself as well, right? Yes,

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 24:09
I love that. Yes, this is all about respecting that other person, I’ll have to watch. I’ll have to watch that movie. That sounds really good. And I love what you said, it doesn’t hurt you to have great manners. It really doesn’t. You know, this is all about making a great first impression, whether they’re applying for college, a job making new friends, meeting parents, who knows who they’re going to meet, but you’re really representing yourself and you want to be the best version. And you know, when you know these things, gives kids confidence also, because a lot of times they don’t know what to say. And that’s why I put the parents guide together really to help parents if they want a role play with their young adults or help them overcome anxiety. There’s a lot of activities in there. I

Dana Jonson 24:46
love that because and I liked that you have that in the parents book because I think sometimes, as adults, we think some of these things are intuitive, right? So we may not recognize what actually needs to get practiced. What are the words I should be teaching? And I’m guilty of that all the time. And I think to my own, like, how could you not know that and feeling? I don’t know, I just don’t know. It’s so, you know, but I think, you know, to have that written down for parents, because it’s like I said, like, when I was doing that exercise of those children a few years ago, and I was like, I don’t know why we’re doing and I don’t know why we’re doing it. And so to have that written out for parents, and I know, for me, I always, you know, growing up, I wasn’t a huge fan of role playing, but I, as personally, you know, I just, I was always very nervous, like, Oh, am I gonna get it, right? But it’s so important, it really makes such a difference. Because the more you practice something, the easier it becomes, whether you’re practicing it and role playing or not. And I think it really is a critical component. Now, that doesn’t mean you’re going to generalize that skill, right? So you know, but at least know what that skill is to start with,

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 25:55
I agree with you on when I did a lot of role playing in our business, I tell people, we can do it off to the side, if you don’t want to be in front of everybody, and you’re gonna make mistakes of your I want you to, and after a while we let you’re doing a great job, you know, gave them a lot of confidence. And I think it’s how you approach it, too. If you say, you know, expect to make mistakes, I did too, that’s fine. Let’s just do this really quick how to greet a customer. And you know, that type of thing. Because that way, or how to how to introduce yourself to a friend that way. They’ve already done it, they’ve practiced it, and they’re comfortable with it. The other thing with my book, which I kind of did it wrote it this way is if they don’t do any role playing in the worst case scenario, and they just read the book, they can read a section. And if they’re meeting somebody that day, they can try it out. Or if they’re at work that day. Just try it out. Try the one sentence out, like never asked, Can I help you? You know, what can I help you with? Just try it? See what happened? Yeah. Oh, I love

Dana Jonson 26:45
that you say that? Never asked, Can I help you? Yeah, that’s what I love that because I’ve read somewhere once that that’s putting the onus on them. You’re saying, I think you need help. And now it’s up to you to figure out how I can do that. Like, what can I do? Or how did you just phrase it? You said it a little bit differently?

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 27:03
What can I help you with today? And then we can’t answer no, or Yes. They have to say yes. something specific to you. On

Dana Jonson 27:10
the other thing I read, I don’t remember where I read this. But it was, you know, when you say can I help you that in some people think asking for help is maybe a negative? And so the first response is no, no, I don’t need any help. I’m good. So as you just said, instead of saying, Do you need help? Do you need somebody to jump in and help you? It’s more like, what can I do? Now? I’m gonna do something. So why don’t you let me know what it’s gonna be. But I love that. I love that. Thank you, I guess what’s next for smile? As you said, it’s very evergreen, do you see another evolution of it? Or maybe taking it to the level of applying it to these really digital lives that we have? I’m just curious,

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 27:51
you know, I’ve got the online course. And the only thing I’ve thought of but I don’t I don’t have I’m not a big enough company to do it, I don’t think is taking my online course. And really making it autism specific, really breaking out by your BCBA was talking about in really specific steps. Otherwise, you know, the book itself in the course, for most teens, you know, most people have never even heard of it so I could spend the rest of my life getting my next steps really are trying to just find more people that can find it useful and helpful, because I feel like I have this resource. And it’s I need to get it out just to help the teens because these years go on if I can help teens be more confident. That’s really why I wrote it and be successful and give back.

Dana Jonson 28:31
I mean, it’s a good point talking about whether it can be specific to autism, because that there is there’s some specific deficits in that area that might need to be addressed slightly differently. But I really, I don’t think I know a teenager who couldn’t use it. Yeah, I have five kids ages 14 to 21. So I’ve, I’m familiar with the teenage years. I don’t know a single teenager who couldn’t use this kind of support. But I do like that idea of also tweaking it so that it is specific, perhaps for example, I have a child that has nonverbal learning disability, which means that they don’t identify nonverbal cues. So they don’t identify tone, they don’t identify sarcasm, and we’re very sarcastic in my house. So the problem and so there are specific areas where that can be tweaked. And I like that now you’ve got my brain going. Well good. Thinking about Yeah, we’re gonna talk about that later. Exactly. So what is there anything else that we covered everything about smile, I smile the book. I really think I can’t stress enough what a great resource it is. And I do want to stress to not be not be turned off because it it presents as job specific because the skills are for anyone in any situation. And also, like I said, the brevity it might present when you open it up like Oh, that’s really simple. There’s not not much there. But there really is. Because when you take any one of these skills, and you’re like, Oh, well, that’s simple. Get your teenager to do it. And then tell me it’s simple, you know?

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 30:11
Exactly. Well, one thing I would add is, you know, Temple Grandin called me the day she read my book. And she really liked the fact that I suggested people volunteer at an animal shelter, because she said, that’s a great way for these teenagers to practice their social skills. So I again, would tell the parents that are listening, maybe go as a family or have your teen once he learns some of the skills in this book, go practice them yet, what is it PetSmart, every weekend, they have nonprofit animal shelters there, and they need help. I mean, I’ve volunteered there, they’re saying, as much help as they can get greeting customers, taking the dogs for a walk, that would be a great place for the teenagers to just get used to making new friends and, and engaging with other people

Dana Jonson 30:55
well, and engaging with animals is so therapeutic in many ways for anybody. And I think two of the, that’s a great I hadn’t even thought of the PetSmart. But I love the idea of that. And also, I’ve heard farms, whether it’s, you know, the animals on the farm, or the farming thing in nature, anything about being in nature, or being with animals can be really great. And with animals, you’re, you’re unlikely to get rejected by them, I guess is the right way to say it. Someone says that, you know, that’s why, you know, they do want to support dog or what have you, it’s teaching that responsibility, it’s, it’s also knowing that something’s going to unconditionally love you. I mean, as long as you don’t kick it or something, but you’re treating your dog properly, you’re gonna have that unconditional bond. And so that is an easier place to be vulnerable enough to express yourself for people who might not be very comfortable with it.

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 31:51
I agree with that. And I think even having a part time job is a great way to practice those social skills. Not that it’s all about work. But you know, we meet friends there, or at church, you know, there’s all different places, but I think, learning these skills and practicing them and getting comfortable and confident, it takes away the anxiety with teenagers, I think it’s probably the best thing a parent can do is just get them to get them out, read some of the skills and then have them maybe just one of them practice just going up to somebody and introducing themselves or shaking hands firmly.

Dana Jonson 32:22
But I’m glad you said that about the anxiety because I think that we can all recognize at this point that we have an issue with anxiety in our schools, and with our students. And if there are ways that we can alleviate that, that will benefit them. You know, as you said, the practice understanding what the skill is having it spoon fed to you, and then being able to practice it until you’re comfortable and then generalizing it into a different environment. That’s how we as humans learn skills, you know, this isn’t this isn’t something new. We’re just breaking it down. Because I think we live in a world where children aren’t necessarily getting these skills specifically anymore. Oh,

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 33:04
they are they in most cases, they’re not. And I think another great role playing exercise is how to answer the phone properly. I think that can be used anywhere, certainly, when they go into the job market, and just you know, body language to helping them with their body language. So they’re standing up straight, and they feel a little more comfortable and confident. Yes.

Dana Jonson 33:24
I don’t know why that is. But it wasn’t on the phone. Although I’ve had some interesting when my children will pick up my phone to if I fail graphics, I can’t get to it. And they won’t say anything. But they’ll just be like, Oh, it’s so and so. And they’ve answered and the other person is saying what’s going on. But I also I remember my daughter coming to me and saying, Oh, someone’s at the door. And I went over. Apparently she opened it. They’d said hi. And she just walked away to go get left the door wide open as somebody I knew was coming. So it wasn’t like, you know, but I thought did she just walk away like yeah, all right, you’re not here for me. And I’m out.

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 33:59
That’s a great story.

Dana Jonson 34:02
Tips on How to Answer the front door. Hey, I’m out. Well,

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 34:08
this the material, the content in the book of teaching the smile, say hi, let me let me go get my mom excuse me for a second please. Thank you just as simple as zactly. Exactly. And introduce themselves and say Hi, Karen. I’m Emily. Yes,

Dana Jonson 34:21
yeah. What do you need? Or who are you here for? Yeah, exactly. You know, so, no, I think it’s great. And I do I would love to see that tweet for disability specific in some areas. And like I said, I’m I get my brain, my brain working on that. What else? Have I missed anything? This is just such a wonderful resource. Oh,

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 34:42
thank you so much, Dana. No, it’s basically a quick, easy read on just social skills and career skills and don’t volunteering, which I think is kind of an underused opportunity for a lot of teenagers because that will help with their anxiety also, you know, you get out there you get some confidence. that you can do this, you know, like all of us, you do something and you’re like, oh my gosh, that was fun. And you met some people, you feel good, you’re helping others. And I think for anxiety, that’s a powerful, powerful tool to help with that, you know, we all kind of go volunteering, kicking and screaming, because then we feel so good. And I think teenagers, that’s a good feeling for them. But uh, you know, something they’re interested in what I would ask them, What what are you interested in, I put animals in my book, because based on research, the kids care most of on animals. So that was one of the volunteering opportunities, but you know, whatever cause they want to help with that would be wonderful to have them involved, even if it’s just for an hour, doesn’t have to be a big commitment. Yeah. Now

Dana Jonson 35:39
I know a student who is very much into those role playing games, like Dungeons and Dragons, and oh, they counted bookstore who did that did a night and they would go down and help out and help run it. And it would they, you know, that was their volunteer work. That’s what they love doing and getting people set up. And again, like you said, that’s interacting, and, you know, following directions, and all of those things. So, you know, volunteer work doesn’t have to be at a shelter. I think that’s the other piece that sometimes we think of, is that volunteer work has to be something, really, what’s the right word? I can’t, you know, you have to read a cause, like, I love kids having a cause. But some children just getting them out and getting them interested and getting them interacting with other people. What do they want to do? They’re very few people that are going to say, No, you can’t work for me for free. Now, let me give you you can’t come hang out in my bookstore for an hour a week and help me do some stuff. Very few people who are gonna say that’s not a thing. So if there’s a way to just get them motivated and get them out to start, then that’s a really great place to start.

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 36:39
I love that idea. I never thought of that, like not a cause. But just something. Oh, and that’s great that those kids did that with the Dungeon and Dragons.

Dana Jonson 36:48
Yeah, yeah. And that was great that it existed. Yeah, I hadn’t thought of that either. And I thought, well, that’s really that’s a really great way to do it. So Kurt, thank you so much. I just I really can’t thank you enough. I’m so glad I stumbled upon your book and connected with you and God to have you on here to explain it. I really can’t stress enough what a great resource. This is. For really children of any age, I think you can sort of introduce some of these skills. I know your book is directed at teens, because it talks about jobs and stuff like that. But I do even think for slightly younger children. You really as an adult can get a sense of where those skills are going, and where they’re coming from. And there’s a lot you could work on even earlier. So if somebody’s listening to this, and they’re like, Oh my God, I need to get in touch with Kurt. And he’s the only person who gets me. How do they do that? How do they find you? I know that they can find the book on Amazon and on your website. And I’m going to have all of that in my show. Show Notes. It’s smile the book.com, right? Yes, yes. And I’ll have all that my show notes. If you’re driving and you’re not writing anything down, go back. And I’ll have it all in there. But where can they reach you? Oh,

Kirt Manecke (podcast guest) 37:51
I wanted to tell you you’re welcome. And thank you so much for having me with www deaths smile the book.com. No, I had a I had a great time. Thank you, Dana. I’m so glad we connected.

Dana Jonson 38:01
Yes, me too. Absolutely. Well, thank you and have a wonderful day. Thank you for joining me on special ed on special ed. Thank you so much for joining me today. Please don’t forget to follow this podcast so you don’t miss any new episodes and leave a review and you have a chance. If there’s anything you want to hear about or comment on. Please go to my Facebook page special ed on special ed and find me there. I’ll see you next time here on special ed on special ed. Have a fabulous day. The views expressed in this episode are those of the speakers at the time of the recording and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any other agency organization, employer or company or even that individual today.