Being a mom is hard on a good day but just because something is hard doesn’t mean it can’t bring you joy!

Today I talk with Meredith Masony, a work-from-home mom of 3, helping other woman through one of the most isolating jobs they have: motherhood. We talk about her new book, her quest for self-discovery, & the fun that disabilities adds to the joy of parenting!

Maredith is a wife, mother to three children, dog mom of two, and founder of That’s Inappropriate and That’s Inappropriate Parents. She started this community in October of 2014 because she felt alone and thought she was the only Mom who was losing her mind on a daily basis. Here is her story:

I had been sick for months, always turned away as the picture of health. When I finally demanded an endoscopy and what they found turned my world upside down. At 34 years old with three children under the age of 8, I encountered my own mortality.

While sitting in bed crying a week before the surgery I took inventory of my life. I married my soulmate and blessed with three children, but I had not left my mark on this world. Becoming a mother left me with no idea who I was. After my surgery I awoke to three amazing words. My husband leaned over and said, “It’s not cancer.” At that moment I vowed to find myself and make my mark. My blogging adventure began in October of 2014 when I created That’s Inappropriate, for parents just like me.

In three years the That’s Inappropriate Community has grown to just shy of 1 million followers across all channels. I strive to help parents thrive instead of survive. I think that most women tend to lose themselves after having kids. They either didn’t know who they were before they had them, or they got lost in the trenches of parenting. It’s important all women know that they are Moms not Martyrs. You need to know who you are in order to be the best Wife, Mom, Sister, Friend you can be. Putting yourself first at times does not make you selfish.

My mission is to educate parents about choosing their battles in life and helping women find themselves. As a parenting and women’s empowerment expert I strive to help every parent I can. My journey through illness and self-discovery has given me the insight necessary be able to help others. My book Scoop The Poop released in Nov. 2016 and it was a #1 new release in Parenting and Humor. I have traveled to conferences to speak on parenting, women’s empowerment, and how I created a business while juggling marriage and raising three kids. Join me in the Hot Mess Express Community for Perfectly Imperfect Parents.

You can learn more about Meredith and That’s Inappropriate Community Here:

That’s Inappropriate Website
https://thatsinappropriate.com/

Meredith also references Dena Blizzard, One Funny Mother, and she can be found here:

One Funny Mother, Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/onefunnymother

TRANSCRIPT (not proofread)

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

children, parents, talking, mom, kids, people, book, thought, understand, disabilities, adopted, brian, day, feel, family, daycare, couple, siblings, years, love

SPEAKERS

Meredith Masony, Dana Jonson

Dana Jonson  00:02

Hello, and welcome to need to know with Dana Jonson. I’m your host, Dana Jonson and I’m here to give you the information you need to know to best advocate for your child. I’m a special education attorney in private practice, a former special education teacher and administrator, a current mom to four children with IPS and I myself have ADHD and dyslexia. So I have approached the world of disability and special education from many angles. And I’ll provide straightforward information about your rights and your schools obligations, information from other professionals on many topics, as well as tips and tricks for working with your school district. My goal is to empower you through your journey. So if there’s anything you want to hear, comment on, join our Facebook group, it’s aptly named need to know with Dana Jonson, or you can email me at Dana at special ed dot life. Okay, let’s get started. Today I’m talking with Meredith Masony writer and founder of that’s inappropriate, which is a phenomenal website and blog. And what else do you call it? Is it a Is it a vlog? video? Yeah, it’s a vlog. We’ve got a podcast, I write books, when it’s not COVID. We do meet and greets and events, we’ve done everything from stand up comedy shows to cruises with our community. So we kind of one stop shop, if you will, I totally want to get on one of those cruises. Now. We had a blast last year. The reason I wanted to have you on Meredith and thank you so much for joining me. Thank you. My podcast is talking to parents of children with disabilities. And my goal is to get information out there help parents and help them advocate for their kids and get through their daily lives. And we’ve been talking a lot about COVID, which is just a tad depressing. Yeah. Especially when it comes to what special ed kids need right now. Yeah, one more person complained about their child getting behind in calculus, my head might pop off. Lucky you. But we you know, I see your videos. And I always feel like you’re speaking to me, which I know you’re not really it is exactly you’re sharing what you’re going through, which is what the rest of us are going through. I know you have a child with disabilities, which I did not know when I first started watching you on YouTube. And I just always felt like I really could so connect with everything you said. And then one of them you mentioned your your child with disabilities. And I thought that that was the connection because that was why I was understanding you. There’s some kind of language that we speak that is unspoken, that I could hear in the in the challenges between whether it’s, you know, parenting or with your spouse or partner. And I’m not saying that parents of children that disabilities don’t have these struggles, they absolutely 100% do we all have them? It’s just that when you have children with disabilities, it takes it to a new level. Yeah, I call it bone tired. Bone tired? Yeah, I remember I heard you talking about being a husk of a person once and I thought, Oh, my God, that’s the word. It’s a husk of a person. Yeah. So I wanted to talk to you because I love how you are empowering parents, men and women. But I know that a lot of your career is dedicated to empowering women. And in my experience, as an attorney, and a teacher and administrator, there’s usually one parent who’s the primary parent, and it’s usually the one with the uterus. Yeah, it’s just usually how it goes. And for whatever reason, doesn’t matter why, but that’s just usually how it goes. And I think that, you know, as women, we struggle with so many things, and parenting is one of them on a good day. So AdWords, ad relationships, and everything else, and then throw a disability on there, and you’re in a different world. And I love that you’re able to keep your sense of humor. And well, because I see this all the time you laugh or you cry, I happen to choose to laugh, not everyone finds it always appropriate, which might be where you got your name. So I wanted to talk to you just about those struggles that we go through and how you keep your sense of humor. But could you tell us how you got here how you got to be the mama? Well, actually, I also have to say this because when I was watching your video last night, my son came in, he was like, Oh my god, you know who she is. And he had to get on and say hi to you, which you did. Thank you very much. But so how did you get to be this famous person in my house and on my TV? Well, it’s it’s kind of a long story. So I’ll try to give you the most condensed version possible. But in 2014, I was diagnosed with an esophageal tumor. And that tumor ended up being the best present I had ever been given because it was a big perspective shift for me, because I had three little kids at the time. You know, Brian, who’s my son who’s on the spectrum, Brian was four and still home with me at that point because I had to take him at a daycare. He couldn’t be full time daycare because he was in so many doctor’s appointments and visits and things like that. I ended up starting to work from home. I was teaching online so that I could make it to those appointments. Yeah, because even with everything else, the poor kid had what they call daycare syndrome, where he was literally sick all the time, anything that kids would get, like, I think he had hand foot mouth one year four times. If it was going to happen, Brian was going to get it. But my daughter, typhoid Mary, yeah, only one who didn’t get it positive. She was one spreading it.

Meredith Masony  05:26

Yeah. And it’s the daycare years are tough. So thinking back to being in the trenches, like the daycare years were really, really tough. But I ended up getting sick, and basically was given a couple of weeks to quote unquote, get my affairs in order, because I was getting ready to have the surgery. And they didn’t know if it was cancer or not. So they were basically trying to prepare me for Worst case scenario, which was for esophageal cancer, it’s about a 5% survival rates. So they were trying to prepare me for what could potentially be. And throughout those couple of weeks, I really was able to do this deep dive into my life. And I knew I married the right guy, I had these three beautiful children who were you know, I knew I was supposed to be their mom, but professionally and personally, I had not done any of the things that I said I was going to do with my life. And when that hit me, I was sad. I was I felt almost like I was mourning the loss of a life that I didn’t live. And I thought to myself, okay, if I die, I did a couple of really important things, right? Like, I met this guy, and I married this guy, and I had kids with this guy. And these were my people. And I was supposed to do the like, I knew I was supposed to be their mom and, and everything. But I used to be this little girl who loved Barbara Walters, too. And I used to love watching her interview people and I used to love Saturday Night Live and sketch comedy. And I had won writing awards in school, and I just never, I never did anything with with the quote unquote, dreams. And so I mourned that a little bit when I thought maybe that this was this was it. And luckily, after the surgery, which was pretty intensive surgery, it wasn’t cancers. So they were able to reconstruct what was left of my esophagus. I had a couple of more surgeries after that. But it really gave me a shift in perspective. And it gave me the ability to figure out what mattered and what didn’t, yeah, and it got me really focused. And so I had the surgery in August, I started writing the blog in October, and it’s now you know, October 4, will be six, the end of the sixth year, wow. And it got me thinking about the fact that I want my mission and vision from day one, when I started, this has not changed. I want moms to know they are not alone in one of the most isolating journeys that we can have as human beings, which is motherhood. And I want them to know that, especially in the age of social media, which is what we will probably live in until we die. Yeah, that perfection doesn’t exist. And we can’t fully accept who we are unless we show the raw real side of it. And for me, that was what was important was letting other women no other moms, no other wives know that the reality that is that is on, you know, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, whatever you’re following these days. That is not reality. That is a pretty picture. That’s a snapshot that’s at the moment, the real stuff is important. And and we have to share that so that we can connect, like you were saying before the podcast, it’s those moments where you can say, Oh, my gosh, is she fought? Is she in my house? Is she recording my conversation with my husband? Because I have a husband? And I can tell you that? Probably we’ve had this exact conversation. Yeah. This is why I feel like you’re talking to me, because I love that attitude. And I’ve actually had people say to me, like, are you sure you should share that? Or in talking about my children’s disabilities? Oh, are we discussing that now. And I think like I was raised, we are all raised in an environment where you don’t share those things. You keep them quiet, you put on a pretty picture. And now social media has taken that to such a different level. And I don’t have time for it. So but when I get messages that say, well, when I’m having a really bad day, and I really feel down on myself, I look at your Facebook page and I feel so much better. And I’m like I don’t know if that’s a compliment or I’ve heard the same thing and I’m going to lean with it’s a compliment. I’m going to lean into that being a compliment because I actually just had a good friend of mine whom I don’t know if you follow her but her name is Dina Blizzard and she also has one funny mother she also has a page and she was on the other day and she said quote, I thought I was a dumpster fire until I met Meredith. And and so you meet people right that that makes You kind of say, Okay, well look not as bad as that lady. She says she’s a hot damn mess, you know? And I feel like okay, I’ve done my part.

Dana Jonson  10:08

Yeah, I’ve done my service. Yes, I’ve been called a white hot mess. And I like it, and I’m fine. That’s how I roll through it. I said to somebody, I said, I feel like there’s a hurricane around me. And they said, Oh, honey, no, you’re the hurricane. Right. Right. And so I think it’s important, though, because I mean, I am an outspoken person. Obviously, you’re an outspoken person. I know. I know. It’s really but you know, I’ve always been that way. And it gets me in trouble a lot. But I think that, particularly in this world, as you said, it’s so isolating as a parent, and we’re so busy trying to prove to everyone that we’re good parents, and we’re happy. And you know, I remember people saying, Are you enjoying every moment of this when I was in the mall with an infant? And I turned it on? I said, No, I’m not. I’m, but I was like, No, I’m not enjoying this right now. Get away from me, you know. And I know, it sounds horrible. But it’s reality. I wasn’t in a place where I was going to pretend everything was great. But my life is great. I mean, don’t get me wrong, my life is great. Like you said, I married the right guy. I’ve got great kids. But it’s tough, man. It’s hard. So when you started this mission? Well, and I’d like to interject there. Because I think this is where I think this is where people get really confused. And what you said is important. Just because something is hard, doesn’t mean you can’t accept it and be happy with it and be joyful in that place. And that’s where people people think that it has to be easy for it for you to be happy or for it to be going well. And that’s that’s completely false. Because everything that I’ve ever done, whether it was working towards in the business or you know, just the the shit show that I’ve been dealing with, with the insurance companies with trying to get Brian ABA therapy, and different things like it’s all hard, but I’m almost to the point now where I’ve got him, I got a new insurance, we’re like a week away from being able to make an appointment. Like it was worth it. Like, I’m happy to be in it. Now. It was three months of fighting and tears and screaming and asking questions that I wasn’t getting answers to, and trying to find the right people. It’s hard. But I’m, I’m happy to do it. I’m happy to be his advocate. It’s exhausting. They’re not exclusive of each other. Right? I just feel like you made a very good point there. Like it can be chaotic and a mess. And you still be okay with it and be happy. And I love that you said that because I hadn’t thought of it that way. But you’re 100% right. And I recently was had like one of my many meltdowns because people were saying as a joke, because two of my children are adopted through foster care and and that adds another layer on top of disability. We’ve got trauma and blah, blah, blah. And so for example, my oldest who I’ve been fighting for tooth and nail for five years and have barely slept over it. And I get comments like, well, you signed up for it. Right? This was your decision. And I was like, yeah, it was because I love her. And she’s my daughter. So right. It was my decision. It was really, really hard. But today she’s going to college, and it’s a transition program on a college campus. But you know, five years ago, no, we weren’t sure she’d get a diploma. So it was worth it. Right? Every second and today I’m like, so beyond filled with joy and pride and fear and every everything that a mom should be feeling. But it’s but signing up for something doesn’t mean that you can never vent or complain or lament or discuss that. I mean, I just think it’s such bullshit when people say that, oh, you wanted to be a mom. And it’s like, well, of course. But you know, this is just it’s it’s it’s complete. It’s just bullshit. Like, it’s bullshit. And I don’t I don’t appreciate when when people say that. And of course, you’re welcome to your opinion. You’re just wrong. Mm hmm. You’re wrong. You’re just wrong. You’re wrong, just wrong. Well, and I and my my favorite, though, is when I get those comments from people who aren’t parents. That’s that that’s a whole different conversation. But that’s always my most entertaining question. But yeah, no, it’s not you know, when people say that, like, Oh, you signed up for it, because I adopted them. And I thought, well, if you carry a pregnancy to term is that mean, you signed up for it? Like I don’t understand was any of your parenting like, just someone dropped a kid at your on your doorstep? And you were suddenly there without any warning? And you didn’t know when you didn’t want it? That rarely happens? Yeah, that’s not that’s and and it’s just, it’s silly. And so and I don’t even entertain advice by non parents. I don’t entertain now, because if you you can’t tell me that you’re a parenting expert. If you’ve never had kids, I don’t care how many classes you took. I don’t care. I don’t care how many studies and trials you’ve witnessed or how many children you have, right? having children is not something that like you have to be in the trenches to really understand what what that means whether adopted or not. Those children are your are your children and the feelings and emotions that you have. are not something that you can learn in a class. That’s not something that can be, you know, taught to you. And I think that to that point, also, having blended families is something you don’t understand unless you’re in it. Yes. And I have five siblings from a variety of marriages, and not my marriages, somebody else’s. But you know, we all raise the siblings where, you know, they’re my brothers and my sisters, and I have what my brother and I call our inverted step mom, because she was my dad’s wife before my mother, but I’m close with her children. So I’m close with her. And right now we have this family made up of all sin, my stepfather raised me and all these things that are just really, people would look at me and be like, ooh, are they really like siblings? Or, you know, just sounds like you have more family to enjoy? Well fight with at the holidays like, but either way. Yeah. How are highly entertaining with my family? Yeah, it’s for me, I’m aware of that. Like, I’m used to that. I know that the real family for somebody who has never encountered a divorce or a step parent or an adoption, or you know, anything like that, they don’t see my relationships as 100%. Right. I think some parents don’t understand how I could love my adopted children who I got when they were older, as much as I love my other children, which I always try to explain. I’m like, it’s just a different relationship. Right? You know, you can love people at different times in your life, and it’s just a different relationship. But yeah, my niece and nephew are adopted, my cousin who’s my best friend and his husband have adopted twice. And each adoption was very different, because they knew the birth mom of the first of Mason for months prior to him. So they were prepared and ready. And still, even the day that they that that she handed him over was still the most emotional like, I mean, I have never cried so much as watching this woman hand her child over to my cousin and just signing the paper and thinking to myself, how self lis Yeah, she she was. And then Cali, who came a couple years later, they were literally chosen out of a book, while she was in labor, got a phone call, didn’t know that they were going to be adopting that day, they had been waiting for a long time. But this wasn’t like the first time and so I got a phone call that they were in the car to go to the hospital. And then I was running to Walmart to buy diapers, and there was nothing at the house, right? So you know, I’ve seen this and this journey. And what I can tell you is there is no difference, right? The way they love their kids the exact same way I love my biological children, there is zero difference. So I can see that. But of course I’ve not adopted right. So I’m also I can empathize. But I’m also not going to say well, in my experience, because my experience is not the same as an adoptive mother. Right? I understand that something, something we’re talking about, that I want to touch on as parents of children with disabilities, and I want to talk to you because we have children with disabilities. It’s not necessarily about children with disabilities, our conversation is I think this really applies to any parent. But one of the challenges that I find sometimes is parents of children who do not have disabilities who want to be empathetic, and don’t know how, and it comes across more like pity. Or, you know, this thing over here is a mess, but it’s different for you. I know it’s different for you. And it’s it’s sort of it can be condescending, it can be difficult, you’re looking at different milestones, then your friends are friends, I think when you add other layers, and when you add, whether it’s a disability, or a different type of family, or whatever it is, I do think it’s hard for parents who don’t have children with disabilities to really understand the level of I’m trying to come up with one word and I can’t say, I don’t know stress. It’s hard to have those conversations, for example, now during our COVID closures, and I hear parents complaining about their kids being behind in calculus, or, you know, my child is not going to be on the honor roll now. And my head wants to pop off, right, because I’ve got clients while they’re playing a different game almost. I have three children. I have a high schooler, a middle schooler and an elementary schooler and you know, Brian had a brain injury at birth. So the cord was wrapped a couple of times he went without oxygen. We didn’t know at the time that he had some brain death and as a result of that he has mild cerebral palsy. Now the side of his brain that was damaged controls a lot of things, one being impulse control.

Meredith Masony  19:34

The other being his inability to hold his urine so he’s not completely and fully potty trained. I still do several wet nights a week of laundry of you know sheets and things like that for the most part during the day. He’s pretty well trained to go to the bathroom, you know and not try to hold it because he doesn’t the sensation doesn’t exist for the poor kid right on it. So there’s there’s a couple of things in there in his brain. And then then they did tell me when we got the MRI results that um, we’re going to have to be on the lookout for these things OCD, a DD, ADHD, ASD, you know, and and of course, from the moment, you know, we had that MRI result, and I’m just what you know, like he was 18 months old at that point he had walked, he hadn’t talked, you know, and we were just watching. So the milestones are different, everything is kind of different. He wore braces until he was five on his legs. But now he runs circles around the other kids on the soccer field. But we struggle a lot with impulse control, anger and rage. And it gets very uncomfortable when I talk to somebody and I tell them, well, he he punched me in the face, he kicked me really hard the other night, you know, I had to hold him down. You know, that’s very uncomfortable to have that conversation with somebody who’s never experienced that because they can’t imagine their child doing that to them. And I don’t shy away from those conversations, because it’s part of our world. But you know, I don’t I also don’t expect them to necessarily be able to empathize with me because it’s not something that they can go through. I write about it in the book. I wanted to say that. So you have two books. Your first book was scoop the poop? Yes. Which is fantastic. Oh, thank you. And what caused you to write scoop the poop? What motivated you? I know, you’re a writer at heart. So that’s Yeah, I just, I wanted to kind of give like the story behind why I started doing what I do, because people would ask and I just it’s basically like, it was like a tiny little chapter book for moms on some of my experiences. And what led me to sort of start quote, unquote, this business, because it is a business it you know, we do various different things here. But But my business is moms. And so I wanted to have this book for moms. And then the second book, which comes out September 1, is called asked me what’s for dinner one more time. And I have an entire chapter dedicated to different I call it different needs parenting in 2020. And I actually wrote a piece in there that talks about how to talk to a mom with kids on the on the spectrum, or that have different needs, because we still want to go to the girls night out. But a lot of times, either we’re so tired that we can’t, but we still want to be invited. But if we say no, please understand that there are so it kind of paints this picture of, you know, how to interact with us how to talk to us when to ask if we need that I find like I sometimes have to cancel plans last minute. And sometimes it’s because something erupted in my house that I don’t want to have to go into telling you why I had to chase my child around for two hours to find the cell phone that they’re talking to the pedophile on? You know, it’s just not necessarily everything I want to share. But I think sometimes if someone doesn’t fully understand it, you know, it comes across as flaky or unreliable assistant, there’s been, I’ve been called distant. And sometimes Yeah, it’s hard because you don’t even want to say the things that are going on out loud. And, and that’s exhausting. Because then when you fill the air with those words, they become so heavy, and so that that in itself is exhausting. And, you know, hit the pandemic has caused so many stressful eruptions in our home with our youngest son, because the kid has these anger outbursts, and these rage, emotions and feelings, and I am a lot of times and his siblings are on the receiving end. Yeah. And that’s exhausting, you know. And so it’s not necessarily how I want to lead on Ladies Night with a discussion about how you know, I got sucker punched, and then he feels so bad because in the middle of it, he doesn’t know how to control himself. He doesn’t know how to how to handle it or to it’s a he’s not even the same person when he’s in in the middle of this. And I think that’s the difference. I understand that when my child is in that moment that they don’t have control over themselves, right? It’s like a primal thing. It’s, they’re just trying to get through this horrible moment for them. And I think if you don’t experience that, and you don’t, and by the way, you do have a child who has these experiences and not fully grasp it yourself either. It’s hard. It’s not It’s not easy to get to a place where you understand what’s happening with your child on any level for any kid. Mm hmm.

Dana Jonson  24:29

You know, so it’s not easy, but I find that I lose my train of thought a lot the middle of my sentence that happened. That’s normal. It is. But yeah, no, and the quarantine I think, is if anyone’s in your family isn’t sick and you haven’t gone anywhere. I felt like I went through the two weeks of Oh, isn’t this wonderful? And we’re all having this family time and then all sudden I woke up one day I’m like, That’s bullshit. That’s not happening. Like what what fantasy was I living in for two weeks? I think we all had that a little bit. Yeah, I think we did. I remember that in the beginning of just thinking like, wow, we don’t have to go to soccer practice. Wow, we don’t have to go to tennis practice. Wow, you have to drive to seven therapies this week, right? Like, well, that was hard. I didn’t miss those appointments because zoom is just if it will do in a pinch. Mm hmm. But, like, I feel like I need to my kid needs to be sitting in there and not bullshitting a therapist over zoom because a lot of bullshitting happens on zoom sessions. Yeah, I cannot wait for those to open back up. Right. But because I can get something out of the zoom. Right. But he’s not getting anything out of out of that zoom at his age. Yes. And Mike is eager. Yeah, it’s a little bit easier. And somehow during the quarantine, I got one of them a license a driver’s license. So that is going to be your for me, because with six kids in the house, and no one else with a driver’s license. It was it was getting tough. Yeah, I understand. Yeah, we’re we just had the realization that my oldest will be getting his permit in the spring. Oh, and you know, I’m not prepared for that. He’s ready to go. And my husband’s like, we have to get another car. And I was like, No, no, I feel like we don’t and he’s like, no, but we do and I’m like, No, I I really not comfortable with. So no, I don’t think we do. You know, I was like, I think he gets to just maybe drive when he goes to college. And my husband’s like, Yeah, I don’t bet on it. None of it works that way. Now, and let us take control. I can’t even imagine Brian driving. I Well, the same way but the mic, but then I was getting frustrated. And I was kind of pushing my daughter like, you know, but you’re over 16 Why are you pushing for this? And finally she looked at me and she said, I am not ready. Yeah, you really want to push me into driving if I’m not ready. And I was like, Alright, well, you’re self reflective and My work here is done. Yeah, that’s but that you know, I was the same way. Yeah, I was almost I was almost 17 I actually had a car and didn’t even want to get my license because I was set I was petrified of driving. Oh, wow. I couldn’t get my license fast enough. It’s not I still don’t want to drive. We got another tangent. We were talking about your book and your new book coming up. And I wanted to talk about in scoop the poop. I think it was where you talked about your midlife quest, which I love because you were saying that instead of a midlife crisis, and we started when we started talking, we were talking about how you got to where you are and and your self discovery. And I love the comment of midlife quest. I was hoping you would talk a little bit about that, like what do you see as a midlife quest? Because I feel like I understand that too. At a certain point, when you sit back and for whatever reason, you’re looking at what was my last 10 years? What’s my next 10 years? And what do I want things to look like? And how did you decide it was a quest and not a crisis?

Meredith Masony  27:53

Well, I wasn’t in crisis. I love when people are like, you know, because my husband asked me, he was like, Are you having a midlife crisis? And because I was I was starting to do all of these things like, you know, writing and and and I don’t think I had done a lot of video up to that point. But I had written a bunch of different things. And I was trying to find a way to compose this book and do this and do that. And he kept seeing this as me going away from him. And I had to like, explain to him that it had nothing to do with him. Yeah, I was like, none of this has anything to do with you. This has to do with me, and I’m searching for something. It’s not I’m not in crisis. You know, I’m questing, and I think a lot of times it’s shocking when we see women quest, because you’re supposed to be happy with being a mom and a wife. And you know, okay, maybe you have a job. Maybe you don’t, but that should be enough to fulfill you. And it’s like, well, wait a minute, I’m, I’m a human being I’m a person can’t I do a lot of different things? Why do I have to just be a mom and a wife? Or a stay at home mom? or Why do you have to put me in that box? Like I’m a million different things a mom is one part a wife is one part, you know, but it’s like this recipe has got a lot a lot of different things. You know, and I think when you look at it as a quest, you really give yourself the opportunity to build a this brand new roadmap for a journey. And no, I don’t know where the end of this journey is. But I think that’s the part of that’s part of it. Right is I just know that for me personally, I want moms and women to be able to say, you know, I know who I am. I know what I love. I know what I’m passionate about. And when your kids get ready to go off to school, which is what they’re supposed to do or whatever graduate get a job. I don’t care what they do go to college or not. That’s your business. But when they grow up, which is what we’re supposed to do is raise them they’re supposed to grow up and fly away. We need to know who the hell we are when that happens and a lot and I get a lot of emails and a lot of messages. From women who don’t know who they are when their kids have left, yeah, and and I worry about these women, and I worry about, you know, their sanity, their marriages, their mental health because they were lost, they didn’t know who they were for a very long time. And now they’re faced with, they’re looking in the mirror, and it’s just them. They’re not yelling at anybody, they’re not fixing any snacks. I want that next chapter to be so exciting for these moms and these women and to be all Carpe Diem and shit, you know, and I don’t want it to be scary. But I think it’s also important to know that, you know, that exact same process happens to full time working moms too. Mm hmm. You also go through that, because you’re so focused on Okay, I’ve got to get the career over here. And the kids over there that at least for me, I wasn’t focusing on what I actually wanted to do. Right, I was on this path. And I didn’t have time to figure out how to change that path or direct the path. And then, you know, and then the kids over here, and then we kept getting more kids because I do that and people are talking about as a midlife crisis. And that’s why I loved you know, you talking about the question about how it’s not about anybody else, and it’s not about am I Is this enough? Or is that enough? Because it’s really not about enough. It’s about Are you happy? Are your buckets full? And if there’s a bucket that isn’t full, you got to go fill it right. So I just found that incredibly insightful and helpful. So I love scooped the poop. Thank you tell us what to expect from ask me for dinner. Because I i’ve been saying that for five months now asked me what’s for dinner one more time. I dare you. Yeah. So when I saw that was the title of your book? I thought Oh, yes. I can. Yeah, yeah, it you know, it just felt right. It just felt right. Now the book was was put to bed prior to the pandemic. So you’re not going to read pandemic stories in there. But believe me, I, I will be writing a book about the pandemic, I, I just feel it in my soul. But all of the stories that are in there are in it. It’s anecdotal humor, right. It’s the stuff that we’re going through. Let’s see, I can I can give you some chapter headings. And I will send you a copy of this book, by the way, oh my god, as I just literally just got the box of books in two days ago. They’re sitting right over there. That’s so exciting. Um, so let’s see, we’ve got I love my children, I love my children, a mother’s mantra, I’ll take household chores for 800 Alex, a Jeopardy category, nobody wins, we need to enjoy every fucking minute or else. My husband’s love language is sex, anxiety and motherhood go hand in hand, I don’t want to trade in my perky breasts, aging gracefully in a filtered world. Different needs parenting in 2020, who knew being a mom was so lonely? It’s just a it’s just a phase son of a bitch. It’s the whole thing is a string of phases. So it’s basically, you know, I talk a lot about having two kids going through puberty at the same time. I talk a lot about Brian and some of the earlier years stories from some of the earlier years Up to now, I I talk a lot about marriage, the struggles that are involved in all of this, but I do keep it you know, I obviously I try to use humor as a way to as a vessel as a way to guide you through a story. But I do talk about heavier topics. You know, I talk about the what I call the downfall of our children’s society, which is American Idol. And, you know, Little League Baseball, you know, it’s like, just, you know, becoming or becoming a professional athlete. You know, are these kids are just obsessed with it. It’s like, do you know how many people are actually professional athletes? Yeah, like less than 1%. So do I think you’re great? Yes. Does that mean you’re great? No, it does not. But I love you whether you become a professional athlete or not, which is hard to say in our family because my my brother was a professional baseball player. And they’re like, well, your brother was and I’m like, Yeah, but once again, we go back to that 1% 1% right. So everyone has a different path. Right? And here’s the other thing, you can love something and not be great at it and still do it. Because you love it. I love to sing. I have a terrible voice. It’s so bad. It’s a I get asked every day. Please stop. Please stop singing. I love it. I love to sing. But I but I’m terrible at it. You know, and I think that might be my obsession with American Idol. I’m terrible at it. But I also know that that’s not that’s not going to make me any money. That’s not going to be a it’s not a professional goal of mine. Right. So I do believe in supporting our children, but also being very honest with them. You know, my daughter loves to sing too, but she unfortunately has my voice. So the key piece, the honesty, that’s Yeah, everything I see from you and hear from you is authentic. I really am confused with people who have the ability to have a facade and maintain it like you’ve got Gotta be busy. Like, that’s a lot of time and energy that I just can’t see myself devoting to the picture. You know, someone said to me two years ago, I think about two years ago, someone I’ve met and and they were saying how much they liked me. And then they said, Well, you know, you’re just, you’re so authentic. And the way they said it, I thought, I don’t think that’s a compliment. Yeah, I don’t like you. I was like, What? I’m not really sure what to do with that. But I think you’re right. I think, you know, we live in this world of social media and and facades and filters. And, and fakeness. Yeah, I did a I did an interview for the book last week for one of the morning news stations. And the guy said, What are you sitting next to? And I said, a load of laundry? And he said, Do you want to move? And I said, No, I’m planning on folding this while we do the interview. He said, I’m sorry. And I was like, Well, I’m sitting down, and there’s this load of laundry, and we can chat. But I’m going to fold this laundry because I have to go to another one after this. And I need to get this done. And the guy was just flabbergasted. But I folded laundry and chatted with him. And you know, but it’s like that. That’s who I am. Like, I had a I had an IEP meeting. I had a client call me a couple years ago, and they’re like, we have an emergency meeting. It’s Monday, you have to come and I said, great. I will have four children with me. Yeah. And and they’re like what I said, I don’t have childcare. I wasn’t planning on working that day. I don’t have childcare, I’m happy to come to your meeting, I’ll be in a suit. And I’ll know what I’m doing. But I will have four kids. And they said fine. And it happened twice. Once my kids sat in the principal’s office, which was hilarious. And the second time they actually put the kids in the room with us. I don’t know what they were thinking, right. But my four kids were in a table. And they actually were so I think they were scared. They were so silent. We forgot they were there in my entire life. That’s never happened before since but they were quiet for that one meeting. But I thought you know it to what you’re saying. I was like, Well, I can still do my job. They can. Yeah, I just don’t have someone else to watch them. Right. They can be in the next room. And I can be here and do my job. This is not how I want to do my job. This is not how I plan to do my job. But I’ve got other things going on here. And I’m already right. No, I it’s, but that’s what I think that’s what we do as moms Yeah, we find ways to make it work. Right. We’re brothers. Yeah, we’re problems. Although my daughter did say to me, she goes, you know, Mom, the school year is starting, and I just, I just really need you to be on top of things this year. And I said, I’m sorry, what she’s like, you know, like, I just need you to be on top of things like, like, when they when the teacher asked you to sign something, it just needs you to sign it. And I was just like, Girl, I need you to get up and get out of my space. I was like, you’ve lost your damn mind. I just need you to be on top. I would have said how have you not forged my signature yet like you to be on top and I need you to not be close enough to me that I can hit you with my shoe. Oh my god, oh

Dana Jonson  37:56

my god. Well, I love chatting with you and talking about this. And I hope that other parents are hearing us and saying, yep, I get it. It’s okay. And then they’re going to say and now I have to go follow Meredith 100%. Because he knows exactly what I’m going through. And I have to get her new book. And I have to do all of that. So where can someone find you when they hear this and say they have to find you? Well, on Facebook and YouTube and tik tok and Instagram. It’s all that’s my name. Meredith, that’s an appropriate and then you can you can buy the book anywhere where books are sold, really. It’s on Amazon, Barnes and Noble walmart.com. You name it, you’ll you can find it. We were actually the book is a number one new release on Amazon and parenting and family humor. So I was very surprised. Thank you to see that. My editor sent me a screenshot. And she was like, What? And I was like, Oh my gosh, I didn’t even know. So that’s my that was exciting. But it’s officially like you can click Buy now and it show up at your door on September one. Excellent. Well, all of that information will be in my show notes. Thank you so much. Thank you for helping all of us and and being authentic and being out there and sharing the message. Because whether you have children with disabilities or not parenting is hard, doesn’t mean we don’t love it doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. It’s just really, really hard. And so I really thank you for making yourself vulnerable and putting yourself out there because they think that everything that you are doing genuinely is helping parents. Oh, I appreciate that. That’s I really do. I really do want moms to feel less alone and feel good in their own skin and know that they are they are truly the parenting expert that they need for their own children. Well, thank you for spreading that message and so much. I hope that our paths crossed again, because Absolutely. Thank you so much for joining me today. Please don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast so that you get notifications when new episodes come out, and I want to know what you want to know, so join our Facebook group also named need to know with Dana Jonson or you can email me at Dana at special ed dot life. But definitely reach out with your comments and questions and I’ll see you next time here on need to know with Dana Jonson have a fabulous day.